Hey there funny folk! Below are 32 punch-line polishes that I recommend for full comic success. Why 32 instead of 50? Because I crave attention and annoying people.
By the way, I want to invite you to a great fund-raiser I am performing at. Check out the poster.
And before we get to the polishes, I want to entice funny people (who live near Los Angeles) to get on stage and check out The Joke Gym. Click here to get on their mailing list for the best open Mic in Los Angeles.
And now, without further adieu, here is my list:
- Open with a killer joke. Don’t start lame.
- End with a killer joke
- Cut the fat
- Assume they don’t know you, so point out whatever obvious thing they’d be thinking first
- Beware of acquaintances in audience. They’ll laugh at anything.
- Beware of friends. They might be critical.
- Try to connect to the audience like you’re having a dialogue not just be on auto pilot.
- Less is more. Do your funny stuff and then get off (unless it’s open mike with other comedians)
- Don’t tell “stories”; tell “jokes”
- Challenge yourself by making sober people laugh
- In my opinion mention your ethnicity only if it’s interesting and unique or obvious or part of your routine.
- Make your host intro interesting and unique
- Don’t be lame and say “Hi how are you.” Get to the jokes.
- Unless you’re MC, don’t have your first few jokes “talking” to the audience
- Make setups short enough to get to the funny. No extra unnecessary words.
- Study the timing of the greats
- Go for the ridiculous. Don’t go with your first obvious punch line.
- Write out your routine and literally underline what you “think” is the punch line. This is where you should be getting laughs. If you’re not, cut it
- Be original. If you Google it and many people have done it. Skip it.
- Funny voices and act outs can break up your annoying monotonous voice
- Do stereotypes of yourself with an original twist
- Your routine is like a sonata. Ups, downs, highs and lows. However if you only have 3 to 5 minutes or less, you need highs
- Lame “goooooaaaal” Telemundo jokes are hack
- Ask people you know to come see you and to take note of random stuff that goes through their mind about your physical frame, personality, etc. Can help to create jokes.
- Fresh fish never smells. Oops. Wrong post.
- Have beats in your set. Don’t be annoying and sound like a non-stop Uzi
- Don’t ignore something obvious that happens in the room
- Don’t make your 2nd and 3rd joke lame
- Hopefully you’re a natural funny person. If not, make sure your material is rock solid
- Assume people have short attention spans
- If you’ve got pounds on you, embrace it
- Sometimes cool comics can break the rules